I Apologize to the past. AKA- Sorry I was a dumb kid

So when I was in my early 20s I worked at a Dillards in the Prescott Mall. It may have been a small town job but the manager might as will have thought we were working the store in New York because they always wanted out clothing nice and our hair and make up done. But being young with no other people to worry about this was not really a problem. After almost a year with them I moved on to working in a care home were it was a total 180 from suits and dresses, to scrubs and ponytails, but only working two 24 hour shifts a week I had way to much free time on my hands and so got a part time job working the front desk at a Big O tire there in town, and I could once again dress up and look pretty for work, what can I say I missed it. Now it was during this time of two job and my two best friends still working at the mall that I got to spend lots of time in the food court with them on their lunch break and even more time people watching. After all people as a whole are every interesting when they are to busy in their own lives to care who is watching.

So during all this time people watching we got to see all kinds of people coming and going from the mall, and I have to say our favorites were the Mall walkers. The little old people who make laps around the mall and are just to cute, because they are always in the best mood. It was actually very relaxing to just sit and chat and enjoy the people going about their day.

So enough with the seemingly random back story, it was during this time that not one but both of my friends found out that they were both expecting and only about a month apart. And as most people know when you are expecting or you know someone who is, you seem to have the same issue as when you buy a car. You never noticed the car before but once you own it you start seeing all the others on the road. And so it was true with pregnant women, we starting to see them every where, and especially when we were people watching, in fact there were days when it seemed there were more expecting moms walking the mall then the old people.  Now being young and very very dumb we would watch these women in different stages of pregnancy and make comments like "I will never let myself go like 'THAT' when I have a kid or during my pregnancy." And it wasn't that these people looked bad. It was just the normal comfy pants and the over size shirt with their hair up in the tossed up bun or ponytail or haven forbid the scrunchy. And I am very sad to say that the moms who looked like they were about to pop who just looked done as they walked around with no makeup and a very determined look on their face probably got the most comments.

Now for the credit of my friends they both pulled off looking amazing through their WHOLE pregnancy and always very put together. They made sure to always do their hair and makeup and got clothing that always just gave them the cute belly every woman dreams of having. And for this I both love and hate them. And for my credit what little there is to have, when I was expecting Kyra I made a great effort to be put together whenever I had to leave my home. It helped that I was the most pregnant in Wisconsin in the winter so over size clothing was to be expected.This can not be said for my pregnancy with Ember or with Kaylee now. Chasing around a child while being sick all the time makes it more then a little hard to care how your hair looks or if you have makeup on or not. And I find myself looking back at those women in the mall and wonder, was that their time away from the kids and craziness of running a house,  so they didn't care how they looked as they rushed out of the house, Maybe all that mattered was getting out before someone needed something else from them that would keep them from a little bit of breathing time 'me time' that all moms need and so desperately miss.

I think of all the times I have left the house with out checking my hair and only sometimes caring enough to change into something that looked nice, and if I am being honest even those changes were fear of ending up on the people of walmart website.Be honest you have once or twice wondered if you were going to end up online because you were in a rush and didn't have time to care. And most of those times have been when I am not wanting to puke 75% of the day. So now that I do feel sick more often then not, and still have to chase around a ball of energy and make sure Kyra gets to and from the school bus and does her homework how I look seems to have gone to the proverbial dogs because I have other things to think about. And while I am not sporting the scrunchie from days gone by,come on we all miss it, its more from lack of scrunchie then the care of the style miss step that they are now. And if given the chance to get out alone there is a very good chance I would take it and run with out looking down at what I am wearing or back into a mirror.

So to all the women who were gawked at way back when, I say I am humbly sorry for ever questioning your leaving the house that way. And in fact am even a little proud to have joined your ranks of the frazzled mom who has other things to worry about, and can save those looking amazing days for those special times for when I want to look pretty or I want to dress up for my husband and not the chore that it use to be to do every day. But that is just me.